The Crash

Sunday was just like any other day I woke up super early to get ready for work. I jammed out to Ariana Grande on my drive which put me in a great mood. At work, I had fun seeing co-workers I’ve missed, and after work I did some shopping, then when I started on my drive home that’s when I noticed it. Like a fog started to drain the color around me, my body felt like someone was tying weights to my feet. In an instant, I went from feeling happy/carefree to exhausted/moody. When I got home not even my dogs cute faces could shake me from my gloom. I put my bags in my room and curled up on my bed hoping maybe an hour nap would shake me out of this rut, so I shut the rest of the world out and fell asleep. I ended up waking back up at 9pm still exhausted even after sleeping way past my expectations. Eventually I fell asleep again and ever since that day the crash has been lingering like an annoying sibling, they’re not in your way but make sure their prescience is known.

Most people are familiar with The Crash, and by the way you’re not going to find that in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), it’s just my label for it. The Crash is what I call times when your mood switches from super happy/normal to really sad/exhausted. It’s fairly common and can happen at any time and all at once, pretty annoying, right? This feeling is normal for people with mental health problems, and it can be scary but it’s important not to shut yourself out. At times like these it’s important to surround yourself with friends/loved ones who understand what’s going on. Everyone has different preferences when they crash. Personally, I just want to be in a quiet/dark space and curl under a blanket. My boyfriend Tyler is a perfect person for me to look for in these times, he knows to let me curl up but he’ll sit next to me so I know I’m not alone while the voices yell that I am. Some people like to play sad songs, others lash out, so it’s key to observe your behaviors throughout your crashes. This way you can let your loved ones know the best way they can support you through these trying episodes.

The first time I woke up all I could think about was how much time I wasted being consumed by the crash. Eventually that lead to me getting sad and going back to sleep. Yesterday I didn’t really listen to my own advice and it cost me not being able to clean my room or making my lunch for the next morning. I guess what I learned from this experience is to not hide it from my family, and to not let it consume me. It wasn’t until I told my boyfriend and he started to support me that it started to dissipate some. In all honestly sitting here writing is exhausting, but I have my family close by to pick me up when I try to crawl into my blankets. Sometimes it’s impossible to fight it, it’s important to not be upset or blame yourself. We’re only human, and perfection isn’t reality. You can aim for one thing but achieve another, as long as you’re wanting to get better the rest will follow with time. If you ever need support it’s always important to remember I’m one email away and I’ll help you whatever way I can.

Stay tuned for more methods to the madness.